Ideas on family and independence

Family is an important aspect of Jordanian culture. It is very common for young people here to rely on their family, mainly their parents, well into their twenties and even thirties. For many people it is for financial reasons. They live at home to save money while they are in university or starting their careers. Believe me I understand the benefits in doing that, but I think that the youth here develop their independence much later as a result.

There are so many life changing experiences that I have had being away from my parents, but that time away from them is what's makes me appreciate them that much more. And I'm so lucky to have parents that gave the space and freedom to explore and develop my independence.

For me, it started from a young age. When I was like 9 years old I began going to Lutheran summer sleep-away camps. All throughout high school I ventured on week long volunteer and mission trips across the United States. I have played intensive club volleyball and softball for over half of my life. I went to Kenya and Tanzania when I graduated high school. And I moved away for college. Close enough that I could visit home whenever I wanted, but far enough that I felt as though I was on my own. On top of that I have had more jobs than any person I know my age.

Most of the college students I know here return home every weekend and live with their families. Most of them have never had a job in their life. They don't know how to cook, do laundry, or clean. And I think it's because many of them have never been forced to do these type of things on their own. On one hand I understand the desire to surround yourself with people who love you, understand you, and take care of you (such as your family), but you have to cut the cord at some point, right?

A person does a lot of growing up and maturing when they have to fend for themselves, experiences many Jordanians my age and older have not yet had.

Maid in Amman

My very first weekend in Amman, I stayed with a friend of mine and her family. It was very interesting to see family dynamics within an upper middle class Jordanian family. I sincerely appreciated their hospitality. They arranged a room for me to sleep in, fed me delicious home cooked meals (btw this was the one and only time thus far that I ate meat -- only two small kebobs), and made me feel very welcomed. But to no ones fault, I felt very uncomfortable there.

It is very common for families in Amman to have maids, even live in ones or multiple maids. Growing up in the middle class neighborhood of Oak Park, IL, of course I am familiar with the occupation. But I have never experienced it to this extent. I can't imagine having another person waiting on me hand and foot. Paying someone to fulfil my every need so that I don't have to lift a finger.

I am not saying that people with maids don't work hard or that they are lazy, it really just comes down to a cultural difference, I think.

It was very strange being in an atmosphere like that, even though it was just for a weekend. I pride myself on being independent and self-sufficient, making it even harder for me to accept this kind of help. Simple things like making my own Nescafe, carrying my luggage, fixing agila...all HAD to be done by the maid. I made sure to always say "thank you" whenever she did anything for me, but the other members of the family ordered her around constantly, and simply called out her name when they needed something, without expression any type of gratitude in return.

The worst part is that the majority of the maids here are from Sri Lanka and Indonesia, making them unrecognized citizens, a.k.a. illegal immigrants in Jordan. They are treated as help not as human-beings. They have very little rights and are often mistreated by their employers.

I know that prejudice and racism, unfortunately exist in every society, but watching it take place first hand within another culture is a very strange experience. Being an outspoken, tolerant and accepting person, it is difficult to stand by and watch injustice occur. But being a non-fluent Arabic speaker, on top of being a foreigner and a guest in this country, I feel like it's not my place to step into situations like that.

Similarly, at most work places and offices there are "helpers," who are most likely Egyptian and thus treated like scum. Many Jordanians dislike Egyptians because they have caused a huge increase in the population here. But their presence is necessary. They do the jobs no one else wants to do.

I will compare the situation here to the one we are currently facing in the United States, regarding Mexicans in America. Just to be clear, most of the Hispanic immigrants are Mexican, since Mexico is our southern neighbor, but many people also come from other Latin American countries. Many residents of the US resent this population. Claiming that they immigrate illegally to our country, consume our public resources, and populate our land. But what many people fail to realize is that their lives would be drastically different without the extra labor force of Mexican immigrants. For example, the restaurant industry would cease to exist without them.

Censorship in Jordan

The Western area (mainly the USA) has a large presence in Jordan's entertainment industry. For example, I could turn on the TV at any moment and find episodes of The Simpsons, The OC, LOST (yeah!), Friends, and CSI. Whatever, you name it! Oh and Oprah. Even the crap American television made it here e.g. According to Jim.

But in following with the more conservative societal and religious beliefs of the country, censorship on television and in films is very prominent. I am used to the 'radio edit' version of songs, which of course they have here in Jordan as well, but when all aspects of romance, love, and sex are completely cut out, a lot of the plot and entertainment value is lost.

It's funny to be watching an episode and all the sudden "snap" new scene, no explanation. Just "poof," gone as if it never existed.

Even 'boot-legged' movies that you buy on the street (btw one of my fave parts of Jordan!) are censored. I was surprised that even Twilight was changed! I mean that movie (although amazing) was designed for fragile, virgin tweens....so why is it not suitable for the Jordanian youth? The one and only steamy scene -- when Edward and Bella kiss in her room (for all of 2.5 seconds) was spliced. Imagine my disappointment at that!

Cultural tib-bits.

1. If you give the 'peace sign' here, it is interpreted as a 'V' for 'victory' in Palestine. I need to keep my hippie tendencies in check.

2. Do not. I repeat, DO NOT rest your feet on the back of someones chair (while they are sitting in it)...it's very offensive! In class one day we were watching a movie, so I was chillin' out and relaxing and wanted to put my feet up. I put them on the back of one of my student's chairs and the whole class busts out. He was so offended that he asked for my formal apology.

3. I found a sweet Palestine lanyard (40 piasters) and had to have it to add to my anklet collection, but today one of my students saw it around my ankle and took it offensively. There I go again, me and my dirty feet haha. I obliged and tied it around my wrist instead.

More coming soon....insha'allah.

قهوة و شاي من فضلك

One of my favorite parts of the culture here in Jordan is the obsession with drinking tea and coffee! At home I get shit for my 4 cups of coffee a day habit -- which believe it or not runs in the King family. But here it's completely kosher.

A cup of Nescafe with breakfast. Arabic coffee first thing when I get to work. Then tea with lunch. A quick coffee after work. Tea once I am settled in at home. Earl gray during my Arabic lesson. Well you get the point, ha.

Caffeine really does affect my mood. I need it to survive. I know I should kick the habit, or at the least cut it back, but that's not gunna happen while I'm in the Mideast. It's way too good. Way too cheap. And way to accessible to stop now! Plus can one really be expected to turn down drive through coffee from Abu Subh--(spell check please)??? I think not.

Now I am a student too!

I decided to start taking colloquial Arabic lesson in Irbid with a friend of mine. I have class for about an hour, 5 days a week which is costing me 100JD. Although I studied Modern Standard Arabic at my university in the states - for one semester, a year ago, I might add - it has proven to less helpful than I expected. Mainly because the difference in the Jordanian dialect and the amount of "slang" used here.

Yes I can write and read - well at least sound out words without knowing their meaning, ha. I can count and tell people my name, where I am from, where I work, etc. I know tons of objects (like window, door, car, coffee, sugar, etc. - the useless stuff)...but simple day-to-day activities are challenging without knowing the Jordanian spoken language.

If I was living permanently in Amman, I could get by just fine. The average taxi driver, shop owner, and young person in the capital city speaks English - at least little, but in Irbid it is much less common to come across someone who understands English, outside of the local AIESEC chapter. Also, learning Arabic, or at the least improving on my Arabic knowledge, is just a personal goal of mine while here in Jordan.

Insha'allah this class will help me push myself into putting in the time and effort to learn the language.

Work life.

In case you don't already know, I have been living in Irbid, Jordan for the past month. I am teaching English at Al-Huson College which is just outside of Irbid, in the Career Development Center (CDC). The Center is run by professors from the College, but entirely funded by USAID -- who also pays for my salary.

The goal of the course is to teach the students basic English skills - reading, writing, and speaking in a professional setting - and piping technology (a specific field of engineering). If they pass both courses they are guaranteed employment as managers in an international engineering company. This is a wonderful opportunity for these men and I am genuinely grateful to be a part of their development.

Work is amazing! I love running my own classroom, having the freedom to plan and execute my own curriculum, but the best part of work are my students. Although, I have found it quite a challenge to plan an entire English education program with little direction and assistance from the CDC.


Currently, I have 19 students, ages 21-28 years old. Although they act like 12 yearolds sometimes, ha. Getting them to sit still, remain focused, quiet, and engaged takes much longer than I would like. I try to be stern with them using my Arabic phrases, which they just find hilarious, instead of commanding. My theory is this: At the beginning of class I did not establish enough of a teacher/student boundary, I am the only woman in the workplace, and I am their age. This makes it difficult for them and for me to draw the line between friend and "superior." Furthermore, my work hard/play hard outlook translates to work a little/play a lot. For example, I eat lunch with them everyday. During this time we laugh and joke, talk about relationships, music, the nightlife, religion, and traveling etc...topics not commonly discussed between teachers and students, and often between men and women here in Jordan.


The work days are long. I leave home around 8:30am, cab it to the bus station, then take a bus to the college. Class is from 9:00am till 3:00 or 4:00pm daily -- depending on my mood. We have 2 or 3 15 minute 'smoke' breaks, plus an hour break for lunch. Seriously my students go completely insane if it has been more than an hour without a smoke.

Basically that is teaching like 6 hours a day! Which is crazy long. Then all of my prep work for class; like designing lesson plans, curriculum, and writing exams is done at home. Plus, grading homework and exams...the moral of the story is that the majority of my time here has been spent working. But thus far, it has been very beneficial for my students which is keeping me motivated to go to work everyday.

We are scheduled to begin a new class schedule next week, in which I will only be teaching 2-3 hours per day. For the rest of the day, my students will be learning statistics, physics, and engineering. I can't wait to have the 'free time' at work to prepare for class each day. I know that it will greatly improve the material I design and make for a happier work environment -- insha'allah!